"Well it's Boobs and Pants!"

No matter how many years I age I will always be the baby. I guess I should get used to it since everyone else is aging with me. Wonder what monumental life lessons the year of 23 will bring.

I half loved, half hated my birthday this year. My actual birthday was great. I was scheduled to work but decided last minute I wanted to go to the zoo with the boyfriend instead. Ended up eating out, watching Pee Wee's Big Adventure, going to a party, and seeing Gomez up in Park City. Not too shabby... but since I had already told the majority of my friends I was celebrating the 20th I decided I'd still stick with those plans so I could see some of the few people I cared about seeing on my birthday.

Unfortunately, I had a friend of mine pass away on Mothers Day. Austin Andrew Lyle... still hard to believe he's gone. Wish I would've kept in touch. God it's actually myspace that let me talk to him the last few times that I did.That whole ordeal kinda put a damper on the birthday festivities of course, so I arrived at the bar feeling less than happy. (having just left his funeral) From then on, every little minute detail had some way of lowering my spirits. Granted, I think I'm justified in feeling the way I feel, but I made everything quite a bigger deal than necessary. Stupid alcohol and the way it amplifies your emotions. It wasn't all bad however, some people who I didn't think would give a shit made it a point to stop in and hang out... so I really shouldn't bitch too much. I know some pretty cool people. In the end I spent my time with the one person I wanted to ensure was there... he's really all that matters, or all I can count on it seems.

Going to the viewing and the celebration of life for Austin was like going through a goddamn time warp. In a moment I stepped right back into my old life... my old friends... my ex-boyfriend. Saw people I hadn't seen in what seemed like an eternity. They're all great people, well, most of them. I miss some of those kids like crazy, and I feel like absolute shit for not maintaining contact. I pretty much walked away from them all... said goodbye to Chris and started anew. Funny the way things turn out. I just wish each of them didn't have to hug me and say "We really need to see each other under better circumstances." It was great, however, to reminisce and talk about the good times. Shared so many memories with those people... even with Austin. 25 is way too young to go, breaks my heart to see the pain his death has caused the people who knew him. I'm not surprised though, he was great.

In happier news, I'm goin' on vacation! 7 nights of oceanside views couldn't come at a better time. Can't wait to get away from all the fucking Salt Lake idiots that I want to cunt-punt from here to fucking China. Okay so there really aren't too many people that applies to... but it's still going to be great to get away. We (meaning Pants and I) will at least get a few nights alone before the rest of our crew shows up.

Not sure why I bother... drivel. That's all this really is...

P.S. I chopped my hair. And I mean CHOPPED! Thanks Memorie.... ;)